Chinese Wedding Customs and Traditions

A wedding is very important to a traditional Chinese family and in Malaysia, there are customs and traditions that must be adhered to for couples planning to tie the knot. Chinese only considered those are married to be truly adults. Although “arranged marriage” is no longer practice in these modern times, there are still many customs for couples to follow.

 
“Ti Qin” or Marriage Proposal will be the first step when the young couple has agreed to get married. Usually this will
happened after the boy has proposed to the girl and she has
agreed. The groom’s parents will then officially “Ti Qin” to the bride’s parents. Usually the groom’s parents will bring along an elder relative, usually a female; who will “negotiate” with the bride’s parents. Dowry, gifts, auspicious date and wedding banquet will be the main items discussed.

 
“Guo Da Li” or Betrothment Day is usually a week before the wedding ceremony and the bride’s family will send over gifts agreed during “Ti Qin” like red cloth, liquor, Phoenix and Dragon candles; roast pig and sometimes even a life hen and cockerel. It is customary for the groom’s red cloth to be longer than the bride’s red cloth so as the husband is always positioned above the wife. The bride’s family will then return some “Li Bing” or Wedding Biscuits and other gifts to the groom’s family. Sometimes this ceremony is overseen by the “matchmaker” hired by the groom’s family. The groom will then go back with the gifts for prayers. The bride’s family will distribute to their relatives and friends some roast pork and Wedding biscuits as a formal announcement that their daughter is getting married and to remind everyone to come early for the wedding banquet.

“An Chuang” or installation of the bridal bed is also very important to ascertain the couple will be productive with offsprings. Usually this is done before the wedding day itself or on the auspicious time chosen and an elderly couple who have many sons, grandsons or great grandsons will do the bedsheet for the bridal bed.

“Jie Xin Niang” or collect the bride is also done on the auspicious day and time chosen and usually on the morning of the wedding day. The groom together with his “brothers” and friends will go over to the bride’s home in the wedding car and convoy. Upon arrival the groom and his "Xiong Di" or "brothers" will have to get pass the bride’s "Jie Mei" or “sisters” in order to collect her. There are usually obstacles to overcome before getting to the bride’s room. Earlier, the bride would have gotten herself ready by having her mother combing her hair for the last time before her wedding. This combing of her hair signifies long lasting marriage for the couple.

Once the groom has collected the bride, the convoy will then proceed to the groom’s home and when within hearing range, the convoy will be honking none stop to alert everyone that the bride is coming.

“He Xi Fu Cha” or tea ceremony is what the groom’s parents have been waiting for all their life from their son. The bride and groom will serve the groom’s parents tea on their knees and the bride will say “Jia Kong, He Cha” and “Jia Po, He Cha” to the groom’s parents and in return they will give her red packets and jewellery. After the groom’s parents will come other relatives and usually the older ones will get served first.

After the tea ceremony, the groom will take the bride to their bedroom and usually young toddlers will be encouraged to jump on the bridal bed. There will be “Ling Chi” and sweets spread out on the bed. There will also be a child potty covered in red paper and toddlers will be required to break the red paper. 

Usually the wedding banquet will take place in the evening and most are held at hotels and upmarket restaurants. Some wedding banquets are so grand that they were held for 2 nights. Usually wedding dishes will have fish, prawns and chickens. The number of dishes are usually either 8 or 9 as these are auspicious numbers for Chinese. Normally the banquet starts from 7pm to 10pm. Guests will usually give a red packet with money to the married couple or their parents, depending on who invited them. It is normally RM100 per head these days but there will be old relatives who still give what they were giving 20 years ago.